Life

Sometimes it just feels like life has bent you over a table, and is fucking you with a gigantic strap-on.

I'm Buddhist, so I'm supposed to believe in karma. I would classify myself as a semi-believer. Were I to believe in it fully, I'd end up going round and round and round, spinning myself into an endless line of "this happened because this happened but that happened because that happened, and now that I was a total bitch the other day, I can surely expect a round of dumb assholeness to come my way soon."

No. That's not how I roll.

I believe in fate, to a point. But I do believe that life, for the most part, is unfair. Dumb people have smart people covering for them all over the world, at this very moment. Assholes find perfectly nice, sane people to mate with. Tons of the best jobs are being done right now by some of the biggest slackers. Lotteries are often won by those that don't need any extra money. The world enables the dumbest, most selfish people, and smiles while screwing hardworking, truly nice people up the ass with no lube.

I'm not talking about me. No one would accuse me of being "truly nice". But I do try. I do a fair amount of self-reflection, and I've done a fair amount of self-flagellation for past wrongs. I've paid for a ton of sins. And I have gotten away with a fair amount, as well. But I see shitheads getting away with far more, with far less consequences. There's one thing I hate above all: selfish people who are always out for themselves. These are the people who will succeed in life. Life enables these douchebags. And the sooner we all realize it, the sooner we can all stop being surprised.

Gigantic tantrums and abused moms

I was never one of those people that cast judgment upon hapless parents trying to control their precious darlings in Wal Mart, or an airplane. I may be one impatient bitch with a very low tolerance for stupid people, but I have lots of empathy for (good) parents.

Today, as I was carrying my 3 year old, 28lb son in a feeble attempt to control his wailing and flailing, I don't know what I would have thought if I saw me. He was kicking me in the thighs, screaming, and finally...he hit me. An open-hand slap to my left cheek. After his tiny hand made contact with my face, he looked at me with the full knowledge of what he had just done. That was the worst part.

I wanted to kick his ass.

But, being that we were in Wal Mart, and there are a lot of judgmental assholes who are against spanking nowdays, I had to settle for giving him the look of death that I usually reserve for my boss, and pinch his thigh.

I contemplated ditching my one item (new earphones for my iPod) and leaving. But that would just piss me off more, having to leave without the one thing I wanted for myself for today. So I endured one more slap to my head, more kicking, more judgmental looks, and sympathy from the lady in front of me in line.

He's still sitting in time-out an hour later, and he is forbidden to watch tv or have snacks. But at least I have my earphones to drown out his wailing.